I am not currently taking new patients
You may have only just discovered that you have been raised by a narcissitic parent. On the one hand it answers so many questions and takes the "crazy" off of you. On the other hand, you're probably hurt, angry and confused at having been left with the trauma and mess to clean up. We are brought up to believe our parents have our best interests at heart, that we can trust them and that they truly love us. What a shock it is to realize that a parent can actually lack empathy or be cruel. So many questions arise: What makes them this way? How could I have not seen it sooner? Where do I go from here? Can I ever learn to trust or love another person? Can a narcissist change? Can I?
Realizing they are toxic, you may want little to no contact. However, you may be too scared to let go of the fantasy, or cannot break free of the guilt that comes with individuation. Accepting that your parent is narcissistic (or worse) is painful and confusing. Your mind will do anything to keep you attached. You may rationalize that maybe they weren't that bad. After all, everyone else thinks so highly of them. Worse, you may believe that it's your fault and that you are being selfish. Perhaps If you had been different, better or good enough they would have (or can) love you.
The abuse you suffered was normal for you. Since you have not been encouraged to listen to your feelings or establish healthy boundaries, it is common to repeat a pattern of attracting and sustaining relationships with abusive partners. Narcissists have a keen ability to read your weaknesses and pretend to give you what you need, which makes you extremely vulnerable to being fooled.
So, who will understand what they are like behind closed doors? Who will get what you have been through and why you want to stay away from them? I understand, because I have been where you are. This is why I am passionate about helping you break free of old trauma, release self doubt, restore your inner strength and recover who you were meant to be. With years of specialized training and first hand experience I have the tools and understanding necessary to help.
You can be proud of yourself for taking the first step toward healing.